I’m Just Really Not Feeling Good Tonight.

I just want to cry. My heart is breaking today. I haven’t felt this low for a while now and I don’t know where it’s come from. I just can’t pick myself up today. There is nothing that has particularly set it off. I’m just nauseated, and sad, and scared. 

Do you ever get like that? Just want to give up, give in, lie down and let whatever has to happen just happen, because you have no longer got any strength, will, determination to beat it?

I used to be this way all the time. There are days I don’t even remember because they were too black to even be considered memories. I had some tough days, I would cry all day, I couldn’t shake the sadness. I thought I was better. But obviously, I still get days like today.

I don’t know how to explain it to you, it would sound patronising to say that unless you get this way that you wouldn’t understand but it’s true.This is not a sadness that is a result of something, that has a cause, I would call it my allergic reaction to life.

To be honest, today I’m losing the will to type, so for now I’ll just day that I really hope I can beat this again, because feeling this way is so hard, especially when no one else knows, or cares.

 

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